It’s an all-too-familiar scene that happens to the best of us: A confrontation occurs with your significant other and, as things heat up, one wants to break contact and cool off while the other wants immediate resolution and just can’t seem to let it go. Is it just a “normal” relationship dynamic? A sign of incompatibility? Verification that opposites attract?
According to relationship coaches Judith Claire and Frank Wiegers, the core of such issues is actually rooted in biology. Their new book, So That’s Why They Do That!, uses an interesting and innovative approach to not only explain the physiology of intergender communication, but also offers effective, easy-to-use strategies for working through and improving many other related concerns. The first in what they intend to be a series on relationship dynamics, the book applies a fresh approach that balances being user-friendly for men while being fully engaging for women. Systematically, they describe this approach as Top Gun Love.
Without a doubt, it’s a catchy name, but there’s also some interesting background in how it came about. Understanding that the primary market for relationship improvement books is comprised of women, the authors wanted to create a unique approach that would be equally inclusive for men. Wiegers, who earlier in life was a Vietnam-era fighter pilot, recognized that military-style operations manuals used a highly effective syntax that made it very easy for a diverse audience– comprised mostly of men at the time–to capture essential information and put it to immediate use. Collaborating with Claire, who has over 30 years of relationship counseling and coaching experience, they developed a systematic methodology that basically resulted in a “user’s manual” for interpersonal relationships–and one with a balanced feel that is evenly appealing to both genders.
The eclectic blend of their respective styles and experiences works in ways that are both informative and entertaining. More importantly, their collaboration has produced a useful system for people to proactively share a relationship with compassionate understanding instead of suffering through the reactive effects that seem to be so common. With almost 140 years of practical experience and expertise between them, it’s certainly worthwhile to take a few moments and see if what they have to offer might benefit you and your loved one.
(If you would like more information about Judith Claire and Frank Wiegers along with their Top Gun Love approach to satisfying relationships, you can connect with them through their accounts on Facebook or Twitter. Their website, TopGunLove.com, will officially launch in early July.)
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