What Men Across America Want

(4/14/14)  It’s the classic conundrum:  What do men really want when it comes to sex?  Scientists, marketing gurus, comedians and just plain average folks alike have been trying to nail that down for years with some success, but mostly mixed results.  Let’s face it:  It’s a subject that’s easy to stereotype or misinterpret.  Even when there’s some measure of empirical data, its validity is usually suspect due to ego-friendly skewing (i.e., the potential that respondents may answer with what they wish was the case vice what’s actually happening out there).  Indeed, people are funny animals that way, but it’s still fun to try to crack the nut.

Anyway, the friendly folks at Insidehook, who are admittedly laser focused on all things testosterone-packed, surveyed about 10,000 men around the country this past January and just published their “State of Sexual Satisfaction” results for 2014.  Taking the results at face value, there are definitely some interesting trends according to the report.  Let’s venture a peek.

In looking at their overall sex lives on a scale of 1-10 (with 1 being “not satisfied” and 10 being “satisfied”), only 10% of men in a relationship offered up top ratings while 21% of single men claim to be supremely satisfied.  There’s a bit of irony in those figures, however, when comparing them to reported frequency stats as men in a relationship are more likely to have sex several times a week (47%) than single men (29%).  Is this a quality over quantity thing in action?  Or are singles just genuinely more satisfied with less?  It would definitely be interesting to pull at that thread a little.

Another intriguing tidbit has to do with the ubiquitous porn bin.  While a solid majority (82%) of men admit to watching it with varying degrees of habit, about half (49%) claim that it has no effect whatsoever on their lives while more than a quarter (28%) believe that watching porn helps them to be better at pleasing their lover.  This contrasts with 15% who believe it creates unrealistic expectations and 8% who employ porn outright as a “dating substitute.”  (Anyone else itching to tug at that thread some more?)

Regarding what men claim they’re most self-conscious about when naked, frankly the results do appear to be a bit suspect, but the majority (43%) apparently have issues with their stomachs while 39% state that they’re “too busy looking at her” to be self-conscious.  (Uh huh.  Okay.  Umm, good answer, guys!)  At the other end of the spectrum, it’s interesting to find that less than 10% voiced a concern about their penis, but it’s probably best not to tug more on that one.

As for what men are generally looking for as a “perfect mate,” the survey results lean to “attractive” and “smart” as top qualities (“successful” and “cooks” were in last place) while “rudeness” and “unattractiveness” were rated as absolute dealbreakers.  Additionally, only 1% of men responding claimed they’d have no interest in a partner who didn’t like their sports team.  Surely there’s some sort of nugget in that little detail.

The report goes on to cover most of the standard things one might expect to find in this sort of project, but what’s most interesting is that the source is openly by men, about men, for men.  As such, it’s reasonable to presume that the majority of their viewers would be men inclined to see how they stack up against other men.  We’ll go ahead and pass up the obvious euphemism there and, instead, just politely point out the positive:  It’s an opportunity for everyone to get an updated glimpse into what men want–or, at least, what they say they want–when it comes to sex.  Even if you take it with a warranted grain of salt, we’d love to hear what you think.

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S.A.A. Extra: Court Rules Web Hosts Not Liable for Content Providers

(4/11/14)  (From Forbes.com)  The 9th District Court of Appeals disallowed a lawsuit against internet site host, GoDaddy.com Thursday, in a case involving web-based “revenge porn.”  Reversing a lower court decision in the matter, the ruling specified that, “Allowing plaintiffs’ to assert any cause of action against GoDaddy for publishing content created by a third party, or for refusing to remove content created by a third party would be squarely inconsistent with section 230 of the federal Communications Decency Act.”

Read the full story here.

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Sexual Assault in the Military–An Update

(4/7/14)  Last November, we ran an article highlighting the Department of Defense’s (DoD) inability to deal with sexual misconduct in the armed services along with the efforts of one U.S. Senator, Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY), to solve the problem.  The legislation she sponsored, which would have been part of the 2014 DoD Appropriations Bill, called for an independent system when investigating and prosecuting sexually-related complaints in the military.  Even though this effort was made on the heels of a 37% year-over-year increase in sexual assault cases in the military, it was ultimately defeated as federal lawmakers voted to let such cases remain under the purview of military chains of command.

Let’s see how that’s working out.

Two years ago, a female Army officer lodged a sexual assault complaint against a Brigadier General who was a top U.S. commander in Afghanistan at the time.  In addition to the assault complaint, the accuser also alleged that the commander made death threats against her.

The case, prosecuted by the Army under 2014 rules which omitted Gillibrand’s proposed independent solutions, was just resolved at Fort Bragg, NC after the accused, Jeffrey Sinclair, eventually admitted guilt as part of a plea agreement at his court martial.  In addition to pleading guilty to adultery, obstructing justice, criminal cruelty and maltreatment regarding his accuser, he also admitted to committing travel fraud and having two other improper relationships.  The charges in his court martial could have landed him in prison for the rest of his life and/or resulted in dismissal from the service (which would have equated to a dishonorable discharge).

The sentence imposed by the military court:  A reprimand, a $20,000 fine and approximately $4,000 in restitution for the travel fraud.  No jail time.  No dismissal.

In a statement following the conclusion of the court martial, Sen. Gillibrand remarked, “This case has illustrated a military justice system in dire need of independence from the chain of command.”  We’re going to differ slightly and point out that the system illustrated that need well before this case, but the results of this episode certainly show something still quite amiss when predatory conduct by those entrusted with leadership responsibilities is dealt with by, essentially, a wrist slap from people inside the same system.

What do you think?  We really want to know.

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S.A.A. Extra: Does Porn Hurt Children?

(4/4/14)  Following a U.K. initiative to broadly block sexually explicit websites with the stated  intent of preventing a “Corrosion of childhood,” academics sound off that no such corrosiveness has yet been proven.

From the New York Times:  “…research suggesting that teenagers and pornography are a hazardous mix is far from definitive. In fact, many of the most comprehensive reports on this subject come to conclusions that amount to “we can’t say for sure” shrugs.”

Read the full story here.

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